My Little Rants : Change

BTS - Beautiful

Ayee! Our third week of holidays are coming to an end >< If you're wondering why isn't there a selfie like here is because I have some technical difficulties and I am way too tired and sleepy to fix it, so an 'emo' picture of me when I was in Japan would do good I guess haha~

Okay the reason why I'm feeling dead and lethargic is simply because I went shopping with my sister and mom today and I chose the wrong day for the wrong shoes and I am simply weak, hence my level of enthusiasm is low.

To the main point.

Change.

Honestly, from my opinion as well as my friends', I've change quite a lot. Previously I was a really bubbly, cheerful girl who stands by her friend's side 24/7, helping them without failing.

But this year, I've changed.
It's not entirely a bad thing if you hear me out.

You can't be there for someone literally 24/7. Be honest, we all have our own private time, we have our own schedules to be done, studies, our own life. And the fact that I have to pull up my sock as I got transferred from Normal Academic to Express, I have to work x10 harder.

And I heard a quote saying: "Don't let your friends pull you down."

You be like, "Why would they pull me down? If they do they aren't even my friends!" 

Wrong.

You may never know. 

I'm sorry if I'm insulting anyone, I'm not, I'm just trying to rant it out as it has been in me for far too long, it's time to let my feelings out.

If you are like super busy with work and your friend/ best friend is in need of help and you go and help of course. But the problem is, she/he doesn't listen. 

The advice you give, the warnings and motherly nags you give, it just went through their mind like a tunnel. And the next day they still come to you with the same problem, over and over again. To be honest, it irritates me.

And so you get stressed over your studies and peer pressure. 

Why?

"I'm such a bad friend, I can't even cheer up my friend.."

Those tiny you inside your head starts to over-think. Thus, making you depressed. This is my own experience so if you can relate, great, we're on the same page.

What happens if your exams are just around the corner, and you are still depressed? You try to forget about it, why drag it on and disappoint yourself and your family and put yourself in an even more depressing state?

I did.

And things got worst after my exams.

--

Another thing that I noticed it that, I became Straightforward.

The thing about it is that, if you are Straightforward, you don't get insulted easily. 

Why feel offended by people when they call you a 'b*tch' and they're just joking? Just say 'Sorry I'm not a dog.' or 'Yeah yeah' and get things done, simple.

So why is being Straightforward bad?

I don't get it.

Why am I being talked behind just because I changed a little, it's not like I'm confident enough to stark naked, right?
And obviously I won't, who would? ._.

--

That's it I guess :/

Managed to say what I want after 4-5 months if keeping things in and bottling up my feelings and all.
It feels kinda great, I guess. 

Please don't get offended, I'm trying to voice out my thoughts, why listen to one side of the story and not the other?
How are you going to understand the situation if you're just going to stop half way? 

Yeah :/ Well that's it!
Hope you don't get insulted in any way possible, updating soon so, stay tuned~